Hello Just Means Hello

Fellas, here we are, deep into the autumn season.  Halloween has come and gone, the weather is cooler, sweaters are in the wardrobe rotation and intimate, close encounters with our female counterparts have taken on a new perspective.  In our quest to find a woman who suits our personality, tastes and overall zest for life, it is crucial – even mandatory, to remember one basic nugget of information in man and woman relationships.

Let’s say you cross paths with a delightful woman at a church function, at the grocery store, buying food at the farmer’s market, or where ever; and by chance for a moment she looks your way and says, “Hello” she means just that. Hello.

Do not try make this moment more than what it is because most likely you’ll either embarrass yourself or just freak her out.  If you watch the show Big Bang Theory – the character Raj lacks confidence when dealing with the fairer sex.  In one particular episode Raj was in a coffee shop, approached a woman and said “Hi”. She responded in kind but unfortunately he took that as a cue to tell her his entire life story in minutes and then out of desperation strip naked in front of her.  A pain to watch and without a moment’s hesitation the young lady ran away with the quickness.

Now we know you’re thinking to yourself that’s just television and it’s just an extreme case but too easily the above scenario can become reality if one is lacking self-assurance. If the universe for any reason beckons her to utter the word “Hello” go with a conservative approach and positive outlook – she is a nice person acknowledging your existence.  That is all, no subliminal messages or female mind games at work, she just wants to be.  Don’t be coy, say hello right back, strike up a conversation if she’s in the mood and see where it goes.

Above all else keep it simple show interest not desperation by asking engaging questions (i.e. if she was reading a book ask about that) and have a fun time . Forcing her into your zone is only a trigger for her to become tense, distrustful and ready to turn the other way.

Remember, when you next meet a woman and a “Hi” is all you get take it for what it is.  Women notice us before we realize anything concrete about the situation so take it easy and let it flow. The less you do may be the best approach for good things to develop.

Keep it smooth!

Hey, Hey….Hey Girl

Ladies, in your day-to-day travels and experiences I’m sure it is safe to say that many a guy has uttered some kind of witty, or useless line to get your attention.  Most times we genuinely want to get to know you and build a good, long-lasting relationship because we can’t always hang out with the fellas.  Also, we might take a while to get our act together (for many reasons) and let you all know that we want to be with you but we have good intentions, seriously we do.

However, there are those on the other side of the guy-hooks-up-with-girl spectrum, the ones unfortunately you woman have to deal with the most often the ones that all the relationship magazines and blogs warn about. Simply put, you are the “hey girl”. These dude have no motive other than to spit game to you, serenade you with coy phrases, handle business and then move on to the next sweetheart. You know how the flow goes, as you walk around the mall, shopping plaza or the like you hear it. “hey, hey girl let me talk to you right quick” or “hey baby, can I get some of your time” and the straight to the point “hey, let me get your number?”.

To some degree the pursuit of the fairer sex is more of a game than anything else and to be honest most guys have done this in their lifetime because we do like the “chase”. That being said, fellas there is a point in life when you have to just need to let it go. Why? Because you can’t seduce every pretty woman you ever come across and woman want a companion not a Casanova. Find a woman you can actually have a conversation with instead of seeing what lines work the best on a Friday or Saturday night. Do you really want to be hollering at a woman with tactics you used when you were 19, 20 when you are in your thirties?

So, what are some method to get a woman’s attention in a way that is mature, convincing and interesting? Her’s a quick list:

  • Start with a compliment: take notice of her style, her earrings, the way her tattoo is colored,  her nail polish color, anything a guy wouldn’t commonly mention.  Use your observation skills for other than for her curves.
  • Ask for directions: Yes, we normally don’t do this but that’s your ticket in.  You can spin a conversation out of where you’re going and ask what her favorite spots are.  Eventually ask for a date. See how it goes.
  • Food: Food brings us all together. If you’re out and the woman of your dreams is eating, be kind of slick and say something along the lines of “that looks delicious, is that your go to dish?” Strike up a convo from there.
  • Bookworm move: If you see her reading, ask her how she likes the book, what she thinks of it what other books excite her and strike up a conversation.

These are just a few suggestions but be creative and use your style to be that cool cat who knows how to talk to a woman.

Keep it smooth.

 

A Moment for Mom

We at Smooth Vintage want to wish all the mothers, step-mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, godmothers, foster mothers, legal guardian mothers, army mothers, baby mamas, the not with us physically but here spiritually mothers, mothering types, faith mothers and any other mother out there a very happy Mother’s Day.

Thank you for being the rock that holds the family down and thank you for all the little moments you share with us that last a lifetime. Your love, direction and influence helped to shape us into the smooth guys (and gals) of today and we will do everything to always be there just like you were for us.

Treat your mom right, she’s the only one you get.

Keep it smooth.

A Helping Hand

Last week  after dropping off my children at school, I started to drive out of the school parking lot and I noticed two kids, sent to throw out the classroom recycling, at the dumpster. The two were clearly struggling to open the dumpster, keep it open and toss the recycled materials in.

At first glance, I was going to just leave them to their business and continue to drive on off to work but some part of me decided to put my car and reverse and ask if they needed any help.  “You guys need any help with that dumpster?” I called out.

The smaller of the two went ahead and replied back, “No, that’s okay we got this.” I nodded in agreement, put my car back into gear and started to drive off.  Then a few seconds later I heard, “Actually, could you help us out? The dumpster lid is a bit too high for us.” I smiled, turned off my car engine and said, “No problem.”

Just a minute out of my day to lend a hand, I received a thank you for the kids and that was it.  All that mattered was someone needed help and it was given.  To all my smooth people out there, take the time out to lend a hand to help someone even if it seems like an inconvenience or insignificant.

People remember the little things you do and it really goes a long way.

 

Belts, they still work

I have to admit, I was once a victim of this heinous act upon the world.  Subjecting myself to peer pressure and going against what was proper and descent just for attention or what we thought was our way of defying authority.  Unfortunately, this youthful expression unchecked can continue on into adulthood and transform into grown men who think it’s OK to walk around like this:

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I’m sure we’ve seen worse but the sad part is that the sagging “style” does nothing more than make one looking like you are in serious need of a diaper change. It isn’t pleasing to the eyes to see your ass just hanging out.   The origins of this fashion mishap – be it the prison system, popular culture, hip-hop, or poverty –  aren’t the issue.  The issue is a lack of home training, self-confidence, and self-identity.

It’s easy to be like everyone else but yourself during your teenage years. It’s easier to follow the crowd than blaze your own trail. However, one day – hopefully not too far into your twenties if not earlier, you’ll wake up and realize you respect yourself more than this; that you’re better than this.

No one is asking you to don a suit everyday or be a fashion guru but I know people didn’t fight for the right to vote, for equal access to education, and to be considered more than three-fifths of a human being just so you can look like a caricature on display.

Trust, we aren’t laughing with you.

Break up the Routine

You know, our main aim on Smooth Vintage is to provide [from our experiences and others] useful insight, knowledge, opinions and tips about being a man in this modern age with a little classic flavor from a gentleman’s perspective. But, it is always a privilege to get some true game, some real talk from a good women.  A woman who won’t b.s. with you and just tell you how the ladies in general really feel and what they want or don’t want from us most times.

Let me tell you how it went down for me.

It was last Friday afternoon at my job and I’m heading to the break room for a snack.  I was more than ready for the work week to come to an end so the weekend could get started! I get to the break room, get my goods, sit and chill. A friend of mine comes in and we talk about movies, people and relationships. We talk about marriage, kids and the daily routine that sets in after some time. Then she throws me off with this question.

When’s the last time you gave your wife flowers just because?

Damn, hmm, when WAS the last time I gave her flowers just because?

Then she went on to say it didn’t matter if they were $10 flowers or just one rose but how women need/love the small reminders from us guys that show we appreciate them. Even a small note hidden in her purse or bag to say “Have a great day, beautiful” means more than you can imagine.  I started recalling early on in my relationship how I used to send flowers all the time, write notes and leave them in her car or bag, call her up and say I love her and make her feel sexy and admired.

Yes, women need to feel admired and women need to feel sexy and wanted as if they are the last designer boots on sale at Nine West.  It’s our task as husbands and boyfriend to make that happen. But when you start having kids, having a career and getting that responsibility thing rolling you just get into a routine.  Pick up the children, clean the house, make dinner, how was your day, yada-yada, then start over again.  Even if you don’t have kids routine still comes a lurking. Eat, go to work, come home, eat, night-cap, sleep, repeat.  Those little reminders and sentiments become a little less frequent.

But smooth gentlemen we have to break the routine and do our part to let our spouses know why they hooked up with us.  Tell her she looks good, surprise her for lunch, give her a kiss in public, smack her on the ass when she ain’t looking and palm it.  Palm it good!! Make her smile should be the key phrase every day.

Needless to say I did what my friend suggested and bought flowers for my lady that Friday and the look on her face was priceless. It’s all that mattered.

Monday morning though, I still had a smile on my face from what was a really good weekend!