Hey, Hey….Hey Girl

Ladies, in your day-to-day travels and experiences I’m sure it is safe to say that many a guy has uttered some kind of witty, or useless line to get your attention.  Most times we genuinely want to get to know you and build a good, long-lasting relationship because we can’t always hang out with the fellas.  Also, we might take a while to get our act together (for many reasons) and let you all know that we want to be with you but we have good intentions, seriously we do.

However, there are those on the other side of the guy-hooks-up-with-girl spectrum, the ones unfortunately you woman have to deal with the most often the ones that all the relationship magazines and blogs warn about. Simply put, you are the “hey girl”. These dude have no motive other than to spit game to you, serenade you with coy phrases, handle business and then move on to the next sweetheart. You know how the flow goes, as you walk around the mall, shopping plaza or the like you hear it. “hey, hey girl let me talk to you right quick” or “hey baby, can I get some of your time” and the straight to the point “hey, let me get your number?”.

To some degree the pursuit of the fairer sex is more of a game than anything else and to be honest most guys have done this in their lifetime because we do like the “chase”. That being said, fellas there is a point in life when you have to just need to let it go. Why? Because you can’t seduce every pretty woman you ever come across and woman want a companion not a Casanova. Find a woman you can actually have a conversation with instead of seeing what lines work the best on a Friday or Saturday night. Do you really want to be hollering at a woman with tactics you used when you were 19, 20 when you are in your thirties?

So, what are some method to get a woman’s attention in a way that is mature, convincing and interesting? Her’s a quick list:

  • Start with a compliment: take notice of her style, her earrings, the way her tattoo is colored,  her nail polish color, anything a guy wouldn’t commonly mention.  Use your observation skills for other than for her curves.
  • Ask for directions: Yes, we normally don’t do this but that’s your ticket in.  You can spin a conversation out of where you’re going and ask what her favorite spots are.  Eventually ask for a date. See how it goes.
  • Food: Food brings us all together. If you’re out and the woman of your dreams is eating, be kind of slick and say something along the lines of “that looks delicious, is that your go to dish?” Strike up a convo from there.
  • Bookworm move: If you see her reading, ask her how she likes the book, what she thinks of it what other books excite her and strike up a conversation.

These are just a few suggestions but be creative and use your style to be that cool cat who knows how to talk to a woman.

Keep it smooth.

 

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On time

At some point in your life you’ve probably arrived late to – or completely missed, one of these:

  •  A deadline (for school or work)
  • A show or concert
  • A doctor appointment
  • A dinner date
  • Bills
  • Bus/plane/train/boat to somewhere
  • Court… (yeah, that’s kinda bad huh?)

One thing is for certain, life doesn’t wait for anybody and time cannot be controlled.  Your best bet is that whatever you have scheduled to do or planned on doing, being on time – even early, puts you in a better position to get things done in your life. So, sure, we’ve all missed some event in our lives. But the consistently late, hopelessly tardy, absent all the time mindset is not the business. That is a way of life that produces missed opportunities, wastes precious time (yours and others’) and keeps you playing catch up…to everything.

So what to do?

Three words: Organize your life!

Remember time cannot, absolutely cannot, be controlled.  Learn to manage time wisely and make it a friend. How? Leave early for appointments, pay bills well before the due date then, move on to something else. It all comes down to time management.  The better you become at managing your time the more time you have for more useful endeavours, like watching the game.

Being on time sets you up on the right track, your day flows like a river in the spring and anyone that deals with you will appreciate how you respect their time and not waste it needlessly.

Keep it smooth.

A Helping Hand

Last week  after dropping off my children at school, I started to drive out of the school parking lot and I noticed two kids, sent to throw out the classroom recycling, at the dumpster. The two were clearly struggling to open the dumpster, keep it open and toss the recycled materials in.

At first glance, I was going to just leave them to their business and continue to drive on off to work but some part of me decided to put my car and reverse and ask if they needed any help.  “You guys need any help with that dumpster?” I called out.

The smaller of the two went ahead and replied back, “No, that’s okay we got this.” I nodded in agreement, put my car back into gear and started to drive off.  Then a few seconds later I heard, “Actually, could you help us out? The dumpster lid is a bit too high for us.” I smiled, turned off my car engine and said, “No problem.”

Just a minute out of my day to lend a hand, I received a thank you for the kids and that was it.  All that mattered was someone needed help and it was given.  To all my smooth people out there, take the time out to lend a hand to help someone even if it seems like an inconvenience or insignificant.

People remember the little things you do and it really goes a long way.

 

Did That Just Happen?

I’m going to share a situation that happened to me this past week.  It was a great reminder to showcase your etiquette and good humor when it’s easy to be just an ass and make someone’s afternoon difficult, even your own. So here goes.

I’m at Trader Joe’s getting groceries and leave my cart for maybe less than a minute to get applesauce.  I turn back around and my cart is gone! Poof, Houdini-type magic gone and I’m walking down the aisles of the store looking around like I lost my car keys. After what seemed to be a long while I discover this woman pushing my cart like it’s nothing.  I approach her in a gentle, non-threatening manner and say, “Miss, I think you have my cart”.  She looks extra confused, looks down at the cart of food and says, “Oh, this isn’t mine! I’m sorry, they look all the same!”
Wow!
Kinda funny to imagine taking a cart without taking the time to look inside to make sure the food in there looks, you know, familiar. I get it if you’re shopping quickly or have an out of body experience for a few seconds, it happens.  What was the most hilarous moment was later on when I saw her, she didn’t even have a cart with her this woman was just walking around with peanut butter and pasta. Not even a small basket.
I could be wrong but I bet she was waiting to jack another cart of food. Luckily, I practiced my gentleman characteristics and just brushed this incident off as a fun story to tell.
Stay smooth.

Decline an invitation?

This past Thursday a friend at work invited me out to lunch.  It was a warm day, slight breeze nothing too out of the ordinary and the plan was to meet up at 12:58.  I was all with it, I like food. Then at about 11:30 I receive a text. “Hey change in plans, my husband is coming out for lunch and I’m going to meet him at so-so place, at 12:10.  Wanna join us?”.  At first I said to myself, hmm okay, but I just started working on a task and won’t be done till 12.  Then I told her, “I started a task, won’t be done until 12. It’d be cool to meet your husband, but another time.”

Then the plan changed again.

Now the met time changed to 12:20 and the lunch was relocated to a spot closer to work, about 5 minutes away.  The scenario is swirling in my head, husband is making an effort to come down to be with his lady. I know I would be a little upset if I was planning to meet my wife for lunch and other folk came to join.  At this point, I’m trying to take the gentleman approach. I’m thinking to myself I don’t want to be the third leg. I was going to gracefully bow out! I told my friend “look thanks, but he’s coming to see you I don’t want to intrude.”  I tried a variety of smooth excuses to get out of this but she told me all was cool and that he really wanted to meet up.  In the end I just bit the bullet and decided to go.

I’m glad I did.  It was a great lunch and overall fun experience.  Sometimes declining an invitation is necessary, time conflicts, prior engagements whatever.  Then, there are those that you just should go against your gut and rock it.  You never know the coolness you might miss out on.

Chivalry

Chivalry, that old fashioned word that has defined many a gentleman across many countless societies.  The word always sounded so regal, sophisticated and maybe elitist.  For me, I believe one thing comes to mind when we think about that word. What exactly does that word mean? I still don’t have a grasp for it in our modern society.  Fortunately I can figure this out and maybe, just maybe this will help other guys out in their pursuit of the gentleman standard.

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines chivalry as: mounted men-in-arms, archaic, gallant or distinguished gentlemen, the system spirit or customs of medieval knighthood.

Okay.  I can tell you right now I am not a knight or belong to any knighthood.  As a matter of fact, I don’t know of anyone under the age of 40 who is and if they are it’s not like they are fighting battles in full on chain mail and armor. Now, gallant or distinguished gentlemen seems more of an appropriate definition for the modern day smooth guy, one that I’m sure gets overlooked.  I can see a lady minding her business and all of a sudden that smooth guy walks past her down the street she thinks in her mind and says out loud, “That’s one chivalrous looking dude”.  Maybe, just maybe the concept of chivalry might actually be useful in the 21st century.  I’ll try the word out on some friends, male and female and see how it goes.

Every day greeting

I have a minor pet peeve that has been irritating me more and more as the years go by and maybe you as well share this sentiment.  Let me set up an illustration for you to follow that will explain.

Scenario:  you are feeling, looking and displaying a level of smoothness on a Thursday morning better than any Thursday morning you’ve had in recent memory. Breath is so clean and minty fresh that you might have a pack of gum in your own name by the time you get groceries that afternoon.  You’re walking down the street and see a fellow human being and greet this person as you would any other human being to acknowledge their existence. In response to your well-intentioned greeting you receive…nothing but a blank stare! For real?  You mean to tell me one can’t, at a minimum, give a head nod, a “What up?”, a “hey” under your breath?  Sad.

I’m not saying we should all walk down the street skipping and hold hands and tipping our hat at  everyone we see unless that’s really your thing, but come on, man to man, dude to dude; man to woman even.

As my brother says, can’t trust another man that can’t even respond to a head nod.  You might get jacked!